You know you’re from Bolton when…
- Every conversation starts with ‘alreet’ and you’re never quite sure whether to say ‘hi’ or ‘yeah, you?’ so you get yourself all confused and inevitably just say ‘how do’.
- You remember the dinosaur skeleton in the museum-slash-art-gallery-slash-library building that the Councillors tried to deny ever existed.
- Using the phrase ’it proper shit me up’ to describe your feelings on a horror film or strange event, is perfectly acceptable and requires no further explanation.
- You stood on the town hall square the year Tony Christie turned the lights on screaming to “is this the way to Amarillo” while reminiscing about the time Babe the pig from the film turned them on.
- You wonder how the Beehive managed to resurrect Micheal Jackson and get him to play LIVE on a Thursday night! Wonders never cease…
- Its “Bult’un” not “Bolton”.
- You were made to go to ‘Tommy Balls’ for your school shoes every year, normally in the middle of a sale, and spent around 3 hours stood in the middle of one of those circle display racks yelling ‘IS THIS MY SIZE MAM?!’.
- You wonder why the towns symbol is an elephant then notice the queue outside Greggs…
- You have renamed a made up language, ‘English’ - you get on the “buz” for a trip into town, know what a ‘Ginnel’ is (Alley way) and can an have an entire conversation using only noises instead of words but still fully understand what was said.
- As soon as you see Winter Hill you know your nearly home.
If you don’t agree you’re probably from Wigan. In which case, enjoy your pie.